Pornography Use
Are you struggling to stop watching pornography, despite really wanting to quit? Are you feeling alone in your struggle? Maybe certain things trigger the craving to watch porn. Do you tend to beat yourself up emotionally after watching porn, and end up feeling even worse? Is it starting to negatively impact your romantic relationship? Perhaps it’s a habit that doesn’t align with your values and beliefs.
If you’re struggling with pornography use, you’re not alone. I want you to know this is a normal response, especially after the brain has been exposed to certain stimuli over and over.
Pornography is something I refer to as “The Silent Epidemic.” People don’t often talk about it, yet the research shows that a high percentage of people watch it. There’s also a significant amount of stigma and shame around porn use, making it even harder to talk about.
I want to create a safe space where we can shed the stigma and shame around porn use. Shame is crippling. It stunts growth and transformation. The reality is, we live in a world where nearly everyone is impacted by the porn industry, whether directly or indirectly. I want you to feel supported and empowered to share your story, to share how you’ve been impacted.
It’s important to remember that your subconscious mind is wired to get your needs met, and while it does so by seeking pleasure, it’s more focused on avoiding pain. The “tug-of-war” feeling when trying to quit an addiction or unhealthy habit is your conscious mind and your subconscious mind butting heads.
In therapy, we will replace shame with compassion and work together to identify the needs that your subconscious mind is determined to meet through porn. In doing so, we will develop strategies to get your needs met in healthy ways. For example, if porn helps you feel a sense of connection, what are healthier ways you can feel connected to people in your life? If it increases feelings of excitement and novelty, what are healthier ways you can experience excitement and novelty?
Do you have certain core beliefs, thought patterns, and emotions that drive you to cope by watching porn? We will begin to reprogram these painful narratives, and examine what watching porn costs you in your relationship to yourself and others. We will identify what triggers the craving to watch porn, and develop healthy coping strategies in response.
One of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is learn more about the harmful effects of porn. Research has demonstrated the harmful effects of pornography use on the brain, on relationships, and on society. You can read more about it here.
Overcoming a struggle with pornography is an ongoing process, one that is made easier with self-compassion, and with the compassion and support of people you trust. Remember, you are not alone.